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Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture

by Roxane Gay

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"In the introduction to this collection of essays on rape culture, Roxanne recalls being gang raped when she was 12 years old and how she has learned to live with this trauma. She writes, “Those boys killed the girl I was, but they didn’t kill all of me.” She writes about what it is like to live in a culture where it often seems like it is a question of when – not if – a woman will encounter sexual violence. Not That Bad collects stories from multiple writers who have experienced sexual violence and highlights how prevalent it is and how important it is for us to share our stories so that we continue to take away the shame. The stigma comes from secrecy. Through storytelling, we realize that we are one of many, that we’re not alone, that we’re not crazy, and that this problem needs to be addressed. “She writes about what is it like to live in a culture where it often seems like it is a question of when – not if – a woman will encounter sexual violence” Part of addressing the problem is compelling media and social media to have more accountability for normalizing and facilitating sexual violence. When I heard from friends and strangers that they had also experienced slapping, spitting and choking, I thought these abusers are all steeped in media that glorifies violence against women . We need more female and feminist directors of porn that celebrate mutual pleasure and includes consent."
Domestic Violence · fivebooks.com