Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves

"Alison teaches at Harvard Business School. She really looks at conversation. Most of our communication happens in conversation with others. It’s not just us broadcasting information, and there are a lot of dynamics that go into making for effective conversation. I’ll give you two examples. First inquiry, asking questions. There’s an art to asking questions that lead to disclosure and connection in a way that doesn’t make somebody feel interrogated and put on the spot. There are turns that are taken in conversation that we need to pay attention to. Are we keeping the topic in line? Are we switching topics? There’s a way to find a balance so it feels natural and normal, and Alison does a great job of giving very specific advice and guidance. You’ll see across all my books, including my own, that they’re all very practical, tactical, specific, because when you want to learn communication, that’s what you need. It’s not about theory, although theory is important; it’s about how you apply it and how you live it to make it real for you. Most of our communication, when you reflect on it, happens spontaneously. It doesn’t happen in a planned way. It’s not a planned presentation pitch or a meeting with an agenda. Somebody asks you a question, you have to respond. Somebody asks you for feedback, you need to give feedback. If you make a mistake, you have to fix it. Most of our communication happens in the moment. And although counterintuitive, you can actually prepare to be spontaneous, much like an athlete prepares for their game. So the book is predicated on the ability to adjust, adapt and respond successfully in the moment. It’s divided into two parts. The first part is the methodology. Many of us see spontaneous speaking as anxiety-provoking and as a threat or a challenge. So we have to work on our mindset and how to approach things. Once we’ve worked on our mindset, we then have to think about how, in the moment, to recognize patterns and construct messages to be efficient and effective. The second half of the book looks at six different spontaneous speaking situations and equips people to deal with them—be it apologizing, giving feedback, or making small talk. So not only do you learn a methodology, you learn very specific advice and guidance for six of the most common types of spontaneous speaking."

"Talk: The Science of Communication and the Art of Being Ourselves , by the Harvard Business School professor Alison Wood Brooks, is a warm and suitably conversational self-help book that delves into the underlying structures of dialogue in search of small improvements that might nevertheless make profound impacts on our attempts to connect, bond and collaborate with others. Talk summarises studies of parole hearings, speed dates, and dozens of other human encounters, drawing from Wood Brooks’ oversubscribed course ‘How to talk gooder in business and in life’ , sharing her insights with those who can’t—or don’t want to—undertake a MBA."