Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

"Well, first of all it makes me happy. I had to go into hospital to have one of those X-rays that people have. Everyone else got dismissed and was told they were fine, but I was told to come back at two o’clock and not be late, so I came back rather apprehensively as nobody had told me anything about what was happening or what was wrong and I tut-tutted, and finally I grabbed the nurse and said: ‘What’s wrong?’ He said: ‘Well, there’s a big, black something or other on your lung.’ I said: ‘Well, is it cancer?’ He just rushed off and about three quarters of an hour later they told me I could go home, and I said: ‘Aren’t you going to tell me what the black mark is?’ They said: ‘Fortunately, we managed to find an old X-ray of yours at the hospital from years ago with the same big black something, so we think you must have had tuberculosis as a kid and that has calcified.’ While I was waiting I had all my library books in my briefcase and I had to read something. I had the Bible and I had Anita Loos, and I read her and I giggled and giggled and giggled. I always remember her interview on the BBC when she was a very old lady indeed. They asked her: ‘Miss Loos, if you wrote your book again now, are there any changes you’d like to make in it?’ She said: ‘Yeah, these days I’d call it Gentlemen Prefer Gentlemen."