The Family Crucible

"It’s called The Family Crucible by Augustus Napier and Carl Whitaker. Whitaker was one of the founders and pioneers of family therapy. If you read Whitaker, you will immediately see how lame the therapy is in most movies and TV shows. Whitaker embodies the family therapy revolution in the most amazing way – he jumps in and makes things happen. This is not therapy that consists of turning to somebody and saying “How do you feel about that?” It’s about rearranging the molecules in the family. In this book you see how somebody can tackle the family as a whole living organism. Whitaker shows how important it is to change people’s assumptions about who they are to each other, to change the ways they interact with each other, to change the very structure of the family. And to overcome the systemic forces that have kept everyone so stuck. Of course in a marriage both people have to change. An unhappy marriage is one where the partners have been doing things wrong. Very wrong, usually. You can’t learn how to do things the right way without changing. Whitaker introduces us to the notion of change. This is a very important concept in family therapy. I’m talking about the idea that therapy is not about insights. It’s about change. This makes sense. After all, when people come together to form a relationship, whether they realise it or not, they’re trying to change each other. All too often, though, they fall into a situation called homeostasis in which change is impossible. They are stuck in seemingly unchangeable patterns. So what you do?"