Childhood and Society

"Erikson was one of the first to outline stages of childhood. He identified eight stages. In the earliest stage an infant learns trust – trust that his mother, father and other caregivers will feed him when he’s hungry and change his diaper when he’s irritated. When your child learns to trust their immediate caregivers they generalise this good feeling to other adults, but when they learn mistrust they tend to be more suspicious of those around them. In the second stage of early childhood, from the time they walk to roughly the third birthday, children learn about control – mastery of physical skills and control over their own toilet habits and their own impulses. Their caregivers teach them to wait for the bathroom and to use words instead of shoves. They begin to get a real sense of autonomy. This is why you hear a two-year-old or three-year-old say “no, no, no”. Erikson’s third stage, the preschool years, about three to six, is when children really begin to have a sense of purpose. They try to exert their power; they’re more independent in the playground. As we move on to the school-age child, they begin to develop competence. From six to 11, school plays a very powerful role in a child’s life. Teachers really have to reward the child, rather than give them a sense of guilt or failure, which they could carry with them over long periods. So parents have to be alert to the perils of this period. Then we move on to adolescence. Erikson is the one who pointed out that play is a way of resolving psychological conflict. In his book he cites examples. The one that I remember is a child who plays over and over with a box. His grandmother died and he didn’t quite know what a coffin was – he didn’t understand burial – but he re-enacted it through play. Erikson explained that the complexities of the world are explored through the microcosm of play. He made one error that I think he retracted later. He thought that girls playing with blocks built enclosures and boys built towers, because of their own anatomy. In the beginning he was very influenced by Freud. Play patterns are not entirely dictated by gender. Girls play with boy things and vice versa. But it is difficult to get kids to cross over. In advertisements, you’d never see a boy with a doll. It would be nice if nursery school teachers would say, “OK, today all the girls will play with the trucks and the blocks and the big cars, and all the boys are going to play with the dolls and the ironing boards and the kitchen stuff.”"